Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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