I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
