I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
