**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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