Don't make out with my wife yet
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
