I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I can't put those talents on a resume
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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