Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
