How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize