sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
