did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
