Who did Billy Mays play for?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Randomize
