this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize