it wasn't lemon gatorade
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
