I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
