You made me cry and you don't even care
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
