dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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