She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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