I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
