help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize