normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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