I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
