Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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