I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
