At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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