if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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