His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
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