didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I will pee on everything he values.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
