im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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