Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
FUCK WHALES
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
