hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
