Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
