i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Randomize
