Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i came on her dog
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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