I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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