found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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