He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
