i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
