good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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