Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
