i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
