Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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