I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
the raccoons are back...
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