why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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