Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
