I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Shame - the story of my life.
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