The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He passed out mid-signature
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
