guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
