I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
