Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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