if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
