Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just want to make out with him forever
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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