apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
