The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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