Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
