I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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