Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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