Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
