just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
