she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
