i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
