he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
